They dragged some guy off the bus today, who was ranting and raving about how we’d all, as a nation, lost our way. How we’d allowed ourselves to become dumb, suckling zombies feeding off the beast, while some power elite feasted gaily at our expense.

“It’s common sense!” he cried.

“Wake up before it’s too late, and there’s no more food that we grow for our own pots and plates. No seeds and no land to cultivate or even walk freely across. And no autumn gatherings, nor spring fairs and fêtes, no festivals at summer where we celebrate being alive and alight. It’ll all be lost. And no-one will realise because the cost of all this is your memory and your vocabulary…”

And at that point he was wrestled to the ground by two members of the constabulary, who told us all to remain calm and seated while they completed his removal.

“Bloody ‘gypos’” said the posh old bird, across the aisle. “That’s me ten minutes late for the Liberty’s sale.”