Off the Rails

Mini epics/prose poems from the edge of the eighties, nineties, noughties and numpties

We can be Super Heroes

After I dropped the tab I thought is this escapism, or have I just taken a step towards the real real world? And then I spent the next stage more than understanding the interconnectedness of everything alive, I breathed it. Sunshine Superman – as famous as Purple Haze. That was ’81. And now in the… Read more »

No Future

If you ask how I view things – half empty or half full – I’d say not only is the glass drained, it’s dry. It’s all a question of survival. A well-trained eye – for a bargain, for a mug – you know, prey. Bread and butter. I move like a shark, mate. Better to… Read more »

Forever Young

We were both 18, I expect, when she said: “I don’t want to grow old. This here, now, is perfect. Will you promise me one thing?” And I said: “Yep, sure, ask away.” “If I reach my 30th birthday, I want you to kill me without regret.” “Simple, you’ll stumble into a grave you’ve been… Read more »

A Quick Drink

I seem to be the only bastard sober enough in this place to recognise a complete knob-head when he’s in your face – and we’ve got one now, occupying every available space with a TV screen. There’s dozens of them here, just in case you miss anything they want you to know, or see, while… Read more »

Passing a Ranter in the Market

Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you that Trump and Farage are the fruit of Thatcher and Reagan’s spawn. Having destroyed structures, isolated individuals and numbed minds, free market capitalist democracy has reached a logical conclusion. The triumph of ignorance. Social media is proving that collective stupidity overpowers the spread of intelligence. If the last… Read more »


Ideally I would have thought this through and not just taken a big step forward into the wild blue sky. But there you go, I always was impulsive, inclined to fail again where others only try once. For example, when I insulted my boss by calling him a nonce to his face. He deserved it,… Read more »


They dragged some guy off the bus today, who was ranting and raving about how we’d all, as a nation, lost our way. How we’d allowed ourselves to become dumb, suckling zombies feeding off the beast, while some power elite feasted gaily at our expense. “It’s common sense!” he cried. “Wake up before it’s too… Read more »